Illustration by Giselle Dekel
“Write. Write. Write. Don’t worry so much about being published or discovered. Worry about writing what you have to write—what you need to say, and how you’re going to say it. The rest will come.”
—Uzodinma Iweala
Here I sit, alone on my couch, in contemplation of this vacant page. The soft glow of the computer screen envelops me, teasing with the illusion of hope, though my sentiments waver between anticipation and an indescribable… something else.
The specifics of this emotion escape me. What I can affirm is my recent writing hiatus, a perplexing intermission whose roots remain obscured. It's plausible that inspiration has played the elusive fugitive, for, despite my earnest endeavors, a spark of genuine excitement to share has been a bit… out of reach for me. Alternatively, the inertia may derive from a penchant for idleness; the act of writing, an endeavor that, truth be told, assumes a somewhat torturous nature during its execution.
I find myself a writer who derives little enjoyment from the craft until the immersive flow takes hold... Can any of you resonate with this sentiment? (Please comment if so.)
There's also the looming specter of my day job - waiting tables - an occupation demanding 90% of me to be relinquished altruistically to others. When I'm not immersed in this as-of-now mandatory outpour, the compulsion to do absolutely nothing, to permit myself to “receive,” prevails.
In theory, I aspire to be so profoundly inspired that when I confront this empty page, it ceases to embody emptiness. Alas, that ideal hasn't materialized of late.
I haven’t felt the need to say anything… so I haven’t.
Which has lead me to the realization that the ultimate muse, transcending all others, is none other than “discipline.”
Having dedicated almost two decades of my life to the realms of acting and writing, I would boldly challenge anyone to question my commitment to the craft. Nevertheless, I must candidly admit that after investing twenty years in pursuits that have yet to yield tangible fruits, the unwavering nature of discipline can indeed falter.
The positive development is this—I'm present now. Writing. Composing words to fulfill my commitment to this job. (Kudos to my paid subscribers! Now, if you haven’t yet upgraded, I'm just casually throwing out an invite for you to join the party whenever you feel like it.) Crafting sentences not just out of necessity, but with the intent to share something that might brighten your day. Engaging in the act of being a writer, writing to reestablish consistency and hop back on the train of creative dedication.
Having shared a bit of what’s been somewhat plaguing my inner creative world, let's switch gears.
Here's a peek into what I've been watching, reading, and listening to lately:
The spectacle of the American Election Season is underway... and Jessica is tackling what no other media outlet dares to—providing a fair and insightful perspective on the current political landscape in America. Her authenticity shines through, and you definitely don't want to miss out on her entertaining and humorous coverage along the campaign trail. (Follow her on Instagram and subscribe to her Substack TODAY).
The Empyrean Series by Rebecca Yarros
Over the holidays, I succumbed to the flu, and found immense joy in the first installment of this series. I originally discovered Rebecca Yarros' work through a New York Times article, shedding light on her unexpected transition from the world of “Romance” to the realm of “Fantasy”, but more importantly, illuminated how her personal journey with a chronic illness served as inspiration for what has now become a blockbuster hit series.
You know me, I don't like to give too much away, but here's the Wiki synopsis of “The Fourth Wing:”
Set at Basgiath War College in the fictional country of Navarre, the novel follows twenty-year-old Violet Sorrengail. Having trained her whole life to become a scribe – members of the college responsible for documenting history – she expects to enter the school's Scribe Quadrant. However, her mother, a general and the commander of the college, forces her to instead enter the deadly Rider Quadrant despite Violet's small and fragile body.
Upon entering the Rider Quadrant's "Fourth Wing", Violet must survive a series of increasingly perilous tests, including bonding with a dragon, and training to be a warrior on the front lines of Navarre's ongoing war. Her mother's role and her small frame puts a target on her back, specifically with Jack Barlowe - a sadistic fellow first-year intent on weeding out any riders he deems to be weak - and Xaden Riorson, the third-year leader of Violet's wing whose late father led a rebellion against Navarre, and was killed by Violet's mother.
“Criminal Record” on Apple TV
When I discover an actor I love… such as Cush Jumbo, I’ll basically dive into their work like a child in the toy section of Target. So as you can imagine, I’ve been anticipating her latest series, “Criminal Record,” for quite some time. (And am quite annoyed at the fact that Apple TV doesn’t release the whole thing at once and now have to wait till Friday for the next installment).
Briefly, the series follows two brilliant detectives in a tug of war over a historic murder conviction, dealing with issues of race, institutional failure, and the quest to find common ground in a polarized Britain.
If you’re a fan of British crime series, such as “Prime Suspect,” you’ll love this new addition to the genre. And if you don’t know Cush Jumbo’s work, I highly recommend doing a deep dive beginning with the series “Vera”, another great series, where she played DC Whelan, Brenda Blethyn’s detective sidekick.
“Workout With Roxanne” on YouTube
Towards the end of last year, I made a conscious decision to dedicate 2024 to achieving the pinnacle of my physical well-being, all while embracing the moto of being a budget thug because, let's face it, financial health is a crucial aspect of overall wellness.
Residing in Los Angeles exposes me to an abundance of fitness studios and classes, with costs ranging from reasonable to outrageously expensive. Surprisingly, I've found that taking matters into my own hands and opting for cost-free approaches has proven to be the most impactful strategy on my journey to ultimate fitness success. Along this path, I stumbled upon Roxanne, and I cannot emphasize enough how straightforward and effective her classes are.
Check out her YouTube channel for an array of free classes today.
David Goggins on the Huberman Lab Podcast
In keeping with today’s theme of discipline, it seems only appropriate to share this powerful episode with you all.
David Goggins, a retired Navy SEAL, highly accomplished ultramarathoner, best-selling author, and influential public speaker, explains how he mastered his inner dialogue to build extraordinary levels of discipline and mental and physical toughness.
He describes how confronting his early hardships, including physical and mental abuse, learning disorders, and obesity, became a practice of deep and excruciating self-reflection — eventually allowing him to transmute those experiences into a superhuman work ethic.
I listened to different sections multiple times and am still digesting it. Hope you enjoy it and that it helps inspire in you a joy for mastering the art of embracing the many challenges that come with LIVING LIFE.
Just a reminder…
If you happen to be a free subscriber and are in a position to do so, I urge you to consider the transformative impact of upgrading to a paid subscription.
Creating this demands immense dedication, pouring in countless hours, boundless energy, and deep contemplation and discipline to create each new piece. Every word and thought is crafted with care to ensure a meaningful and enriching experience for each of you. Now, I'm extending an invitation to join me on this creative journey and show your support.
Your decision to upgrade is a gesture of reciprocity, an acknowledgment of the value you find here. It allows me to continue delivering high-quality content and enables me to grow and flourish as a writer and artist. By honoring my work, you're investing in a collective exchange of inspiration and creativity.
Together, we can take Not Enough Time to new heights, fostering a community of like-minded souls who revel in the exploration of ideas, stories, and connection. Your contribution is more than a subscription; it's a transformative partnership that nurtures the spirit of creativity and artistic growth and stability.
Thank you, in advance.
“I’m present now writing” is all it takes with a dose of discipline.